This question has bothered me for some time as part of my programming deeply and powerfully ingrained was to not ruin “important peoples” lives. What makes a person important then? and why wasn’t I?not things a little girl would find easy to understand.
Those involved in my abuse and covering it up were teachers, someone who created medicine, police, pastors, parents, case workers, psychologist I could go on…sounds far fetched I know but what did they all have in common? Well a few things, my family, my church, me and some very dark secrets that likely began with how I got to this family to begin with. These were the important people whose lives I’d be ruining if I ever spoke up so for 38 years much was done to ensure my silence.
These are the things I think about and the cost of trying to walk away before coupled with the fear of walking completely away this time and severing ties with them all completely. So does ending silence mean naming names? I still don’t know, guess that will be up to God as time goes forward but now that I’m in Christ I’m not afraid to tell my story and say what was done to me was ungodly and very wrong.